Book Review - The Complete Works - H. P. Lovecraft - Part 2


Brace yourself, this is a big blog.

Imprisoned with the Pharaohs - Don't go around bragging that you're an amazing magician and people wont feel the need to test your abilities. 
He sure does let his mind indulge in fanciful crap!
WTH!? Back on the 'mixing' humans with animals train again.
You need help, HP!

** I'm calling it now, Lovecraft wanted to have sexual relations with an ape. I don't know if he ever did or was just banned from zoos, but this dude is way too into breeding with apes. 
I bet he had a thing for Zana the Almas.
He's like that kid in year 8 biology that wants to make a monkey-man and keeps asking if it's possible.

God, Schmod, I want my monkey-man!

The Shunned House - Tell the story chronologically! If you tell me the ending just before the 'suspenseful' bit, all suspense is lost!
You dumb jerk!

The Horror at Red Hook - It doesn't mater what someone looks like, everyone is human! People have strengths and weaknesses, both temporary and long term.
You are not Poe, you will never be even close to being as good as Poe. Stop bringing him up, it adds nothing to your story.
Again with the half-apes thing!
And he used the word 'Aryan'... If anyone calls themselves a 'Lovecraftian', it is now legal to punch them squarely in the nose. 

He - Die in a hole, H.P.!

In the Vault - Plot twist is obvious and not shocking at all.

Cool Air - I don't care about the narrator, I would hit him if I met him. Also, another obvious ending.

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I read this one to PU1 and then asked her some questions!
SPOILERS!!

What she thought:
- the narrator used weird words.

Before we got to the "big reveal", I asked her for her theories.

Why did Dr Torres die?
- Ammonia poisoning.

Why did the narrator burn the letters?
- No idea, it seems stupid.

What is up with Dr Muñoz?
- He is an alien.

Is it spooky so far?
- Yeah (not a strong answer here).

After the "big reveal"...

Why did Dr Torres die?
- He is Dr Torres! Preserved in ammonia?

What did you think of the ending?
- Weirder than an alien.

Where is Dr Muñoz?
- Melted.

Why did the narrator burn the letters?
- To stop others from getting spells.

Overall, any last words about it?
- I kept waiting for the line that would make it add up.

(I don't think she understood it)
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The Call of Cthulhu - This is a big one, the course of pop-culture references and the idol of (some) nerds.
Ok, less than a page in and I already disagree. 
Knowledge is power, do not fear it!
Can you stop being racist for five seconds?

Meh. I mean, he's getting better at actual writing but I don't give a damn about Cthulhu. 
I'm not scared of odd architecture or Cthulhu.
It either kills you or not... Pfft! 

I guess the idea here is meant to be a fear of madness?
But I have faced bigger, scarier, darker, and more maddening demons than this little b**ch Cthulhu. 
COME AT ME BRO!

What... that's it? What a shitty story!

Pickman's Model - Shows a lack of knowledge of art. 
Summary: "I'm not scared of images like a baby, but I'm scared of images like a baby!"
Ending was obvious.

*** Guys, I don't know if I can keep going. Each of his horrors are just the poorly veiled, non-valid fears of a white supremacist.
These are the poorly written fears of a delusional, racist jerk.
And now that Trump is the US president elect, do we really need this shitty time capsule?

The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath - More racist dribble.

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I'm going to make this a three part post.
I want this part to go out but I also want to take a break from terrible writing by a terrible person.

H.P. Lovecraft is not just an awful, awful person, he also sucks at writing BIG TIME.

"Oh, what a feeling! I'm dancing on yo' ceiling!"