So we (read: I) are going from 150mg daily to none.
Very, VERY slowly!
Let's go on this journey together!
This post will cover the first step, going down to 100mg.
28/1/17 - Went down from 150mg to 100mg tonight.
I hope that isn't too much of a jump... Future me will tell you!
29/1/17 - No negative effects felt so far, had sex dreams last night (I'll take that over nightmares any night!).
I feel a bit euphoric.
As the day went on, I'm still feeling lustful.
I know that antidepressants can suppress libido, but I didn't think I experienced that side-effect.
Oh no! What if it DID suppress my libido and without them, I'm going to be even more lustful?!
It does not help that I've been getting some hot messages of late!
30/1/17 - OMG! I can't sleep!
I'm lusty and someone suggested something that has me going mad! ('March')
Midday and the succubus thing has passed.
I had vivid dreams last night, but they were not nightmares.
I'm having racing thoughts and difficulty focusing on one thing.
31/1/17- It is the wee hours and I have not slept.
I am really enjoying music and getting feelings of true love (both old flames and current loves).
I feel so good, everything feels so reminiscent of true love.
This next song sounds like what romantic love feels like (not necessary the lyrics, the music and feel):
Ok, that may be the decrease in meds and/or synaesthesia talking.
Did I ever disclose on this blog that I have synaesthesia?
Despite what that last sentence may seem to imply, the rapid thoughts have stopped.
1/2/17 - I have a dull headache at the front of my head (near sinuses) that I think may be from the drug reduction, rather than my current cold.
I'm feeling pretty good cognitively, pretty 'normal'.
I had a nap an had terrible nightmares... now we are getting to the normal 'you need the medicine' symptoms!
Nightmare cure... you are welcome!
Also, I have a SERIOUS craving for chocolate ice-cream, as of an hour ago.
Earlier in the day, I was just thinking about it, now I NEED it!
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| Do I have a time-headache?! |
2/2/17 - I got chocolate ice-cream after work today.
But today, nothing tastes appealing.
I don't feel hungry.
Aside from this taste-apathy, I am feeling pretty stable today.
3/2/17 - woke up with a growling stomach, but no appetite.
Forced down a piece of bread and drank a lot of sweet, sweet water (not actually sweet).
As the day went on, nothing looked good for eating.
I have no appetite.
5/2/17 - I am feeling perfectly fine... I may be calling this too early, but I think I have successfully adjusted down to 100mg.
If it all stays stable, I'll go down to 50mg on the 17th.
I can eat easier now, but I have to really feel like it.
This evening was the biggest test of my 100mg so far.
PU1 told me an infuriating story of someone else's stupidity, another person won't fulfill a request that I had done for them many times over (making me feel like they don't give a shit about reciprocity), and PB decided to list just a select few things which are horrible within the political world (then suggested I don't get depressed by it... how could I not when people are so freaking awful to each other sometimes?).
Also 'Interstellar' is on television and it is a stupid film.
But I haven't felt the coldness of depression spread over my heart yet.
Nor have I had any 'you just get this because genetics' depression yet.
I couldn't sleep, decided I might be hungry.
I can't eat much because I feel fussy.
I'm now gassy (burps).
I laughed because I felt like I was a baby... then I had 'the thought'.
Oh crab apples, what if I'm pregnant!? o.O
Highly unlikely, but that doesn't make it any less scary!
Guess who will be peeing on sticks now.
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| Test 1: negative |
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| Test 2: negative |
I got into an argument at work.
My supervisor wanted me to invent time (when others there were sitting around doing nothing) and I wanted them to go f**k themselves.
I probably could have let this one go, but everyone had already been pushing me, work was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
7/2/17 - I went to the doctor today and got some 75mg tablets.
I go back in three weeks for some 37.5mg tablets.
Tonight I will start the 75mg :)
Stay tuned for the next exciting post!
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