XXX Review - California Exotic Inspire Nipple & Breast Toy - Vibrating Remote Breast Massager

My poor breasts have been pushed beneath my corset for a while, I worried about them.
So when I saw this I was intrigued!

The design is cute, but floored. 
The light colour makes it easy to discolour/stain. (It was coloured such to look like the breast cancer 'pink', but it isn't practical!)

It fits easily into a bra/corset and the cute 'compact mirror' remote control allows subtlety, but this is useless because it is SO DAMN LOUD!
This cannot be used for public play, if you desire subtlety.

Excuse me ma'am, but is your blouse full of bees?

Also, I can't use it for more than 20 minutes or the sound/vibration starts to give me a headache.

What they should do for a second version is make it black and silent, then we will be in business!


Price: 1/5 ($163.50)
Effectiveness: 2/5

XXX Review - Satisfyer Pro 2

I don't normally review sex toys (I could, easily) but this is an exception.

This is amazing!

It is a vacuum-based clitoral stimulator, creating pressure waves via a membrane movement.
It has two membrane movement 'settings' which can be increased  independently of each other.

If you haven't been able to orgasm prior, this may just make it happen for you.
TMI: This will make me orgasm in under 3 minutes.

The silicon head is removed for easy washing and it is waterproof.
The charger is a usb on one end and connects to the device VIA MAGNETISM!!!!
The design is quite sleek and the rose gold finish is also nice touch.

To fully test it's range, I have tried it on a guy, and he didn't like it (didn't feel like much to him).

If you are looking for a sexy gift for yourself/ your lady friend, get one of these (with some lube, a bottle of champagne, and a quite evening for her to treat herself).*

*Pro tip: don't ask her to use it in front of you while you touch her, that can make it really hard to cum and is kinda frustrating.

Price: 2/5 ($149.95)
Effectiveness: 5/5