XXX Review - Durex - Naturals - Lubricant

This is a water lubricant with all natural ingredients.
It contains no silicon products. 
It contains prebiotics, to support natural flora, and is a moisturising formula.

As a lubricant, it acts like any other water-based lubricant, except a bit less viscous.
In use, it is very pleasant.

Price: 2.5/5 ($16.23 for 100mL)
Scent: 2.5/5 (no real scent)
Effectiveness: 5/5

XXX Review - Sweet Cherry Liebeskugeln (Love Balls)

I have been interested in love balls and pelvic floor training for a while, but honestly none of the designs really appealed to me previously.
I don't like the love balls that are attached by a fabric string, it just seemed like a breeding ground for bacteria.

I like these because they are super cute, aren't obvious what they are by looking at them, and they are all silicone (so easy to clean).

The instructions said to use them twice a day for 15 minutes (working up to a longer time period as you feel comfortable) when walking or doing pelvic floor exercises. 
One exercise is like doing a slow version of the pelvic trust (without having your knees bent in).

It is meant to help with increasing sensitivity, pelvic floor strength, and even to help with incontinence (a problem some women face after having children).

After using it daily for a week (and I will admit, after the first few days I only used it once a day) I have experienced an increase in internal (vagina) sensation during sex. 
It does take a little longer to orgasm via clitoral stimulation, but once it is achieved, it involved more internal movement.

I feel like I shouldn't have to say this, but don't put these in your butt. Get anal beads if you want something like this for your butt.

I would happily recommend these!

Price: 3/5 ($32.09 for a set)
Rating: 5/5

XXX Review - Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation

I had an earlier model of the Satisfyer Pro and I really liked it... then it went away on a one way journey, never to return.

So I got this one as a replacement.

Things I like about the penguin model:
- It is smaller than the Satisfyer Pro.
- The suction part is one piece with the device, so it is easy to wash thoroughly.
- The design is so stupidly cute and I love the little silicon bow.
- Magnetic charging cable (the Satisfyer Pro also had this).

Things I don't like about the penguin model:
- The suction part is not as soft as the detachable version.
- The on button is no longer separate from the control buttons. They may think it makes it more sleek, but I just find it stupid. 

While it is adorable and does the job, I don't think I would honestly recommend this over the Satisfyer Pro.

Next generation models are meant to be better, not worse than the predecessors.

Price: 3.5/5 ($65.83)
Effectiveness: 4/5 
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XXX Review - Empire Labs - Clone-A-Willy Kit

This kit is meant to allow you to make a vibrating clone of a penis! XD

I have a gentleman who is very proud of his penis and we thought this would be fun to try.

So you make a negative mould of the penis, then make a cast from the negative.

While I got the 'light toned' colour, the official website stocks many other colours, both natural and unreal!

Upon use, it is messy and a bit fiddly, but it is fun. 


However, there is NOT ENOUGH silicone in the kit!

Unless you are on the smaller side of average, you need more silicone than one kit provides!!! (SO ANNOYING!)

I've covered the dildo to protect the gentleman, but outlined how much of his size is missing.
He is longer than the amount of silicone allowed to be cast.

The mould is quite fragile and prone to breaking (it would have helped if the mould tube was wider, but that may be because the gentleman in question had considerable girth.

(basically, there is a reason why the gentleman in question is proud of his penis)

The end got a bit mushed, but that was the gentleman's doing as he kept squeezing the mould while he was in it.
The rest of the detailing is great!



We tried again with a Clone-a-Willy + Balls kit and an extra refill of silicone.
There was not enough moulding powder and the vibrator kept trying to float out..
Ugh!

All I want is a clone of this man's dick! Is that too much to ask!?


Price: 4/5 ($59.95, compared to many other dildos and vibrators, this is a really good price)
Effectiveness: 1/5

XXX Review - California Exotic Inspire Nipple & Breast Toy - Vibrating Remote Breast Massager

My poor breasts have been pushed beneath my corset for a while, I worried about them.
So when I saw this I was intrigued!

The design is cute, but floored. 
The light colour makes it easy to discolour/stain. (It was coloured such to look like the breast cancer 'pink', but it isn't practical!)

It fits easily into a bra/corset and the cute 'compact mirror' remote control allows subtlety, but this is useless because it is SO DAMN LOUD!
This cannot be used for public play, if you desire subtlety.

Excuse me ma'am, but is your blouse full of bees?

Also, I can't use it for more than 20 minutes or the sound/vibration starts to give me a headache.

What they should do for a second version is make it black and silent, then we will be in business!


Price: 1/5 ($163.50)
Effectiveness: 2/5

XXX Review - Satisfyer Pro 2

I don't normally review sex toys (I could, easily) but this is an exception.

This is amazing!

It is a vacuum-based clitoral stimulator, creating pressure waves via a membrane movement.
It has two membrane movement 'settings' which can be increased  independently of each other.

If you haven't been able to orgasm prior, this may just make it happen for you.
TMI: This will make me orgasm in under 3 minutes.

The silicon head is removed for easy washing and it is waterproof.
The charger is a usb on one end and connects to the device VIA MAGNETISM!!!!
The design is quite sleek and the rose gold finish is also nice touch.

To fully test it's range, I have tried it on a guy, and he didn't like it (didn't feel like much to him).

If you are looking for a sexy gift for yourself/ your lady friend, get one of these (with some lube, a bottle of champagne, and a quite evening for her to treat herself).*

*Pro tip: don't ask her to use it in front of you while you touch her, that can make it really hard to cum and is kinda frustrating.

Price: 2/5 ($149.95)
Effectiveness: 5/5