Neureg spag.Peka Drops

May I present to you more homeopathic bulls**t!

This is an alcohol based tincture and I don't appreciate the alcohol.

This product is supposedly for:
"The fast pace of modern life places large demands on many individuals' mental and physical performance. As a result, it is necessary to help the body overcome mental strain and emotional exhaustion. NEU-regen syrup helps restore proper organ function and energetically balance the performance of the body through gentle regulation. In contrast, drugs such as stimulants and sedatives place even greater demands upon an exhausted body."
Which is all a bunch of baloney.

In addition to mostly alcohol, this bottle of booze was shown google image search pictures of Argentum nitricum, Cinchona officinalis, Conium, Nux vomica, Staphysagria, Avena sativa, Ginseng, Piper methysticum, Argentum nitricum, Cinchona officinalis, Conium, and some sugar.

Of course I do not recommend this product at all.
It won't do anything apart put some stuff in your body that your body just has to get rid off.

Price: 0/5 ($31.12 for 150mL of s**t gin)
Effectiveness: -5/5

Book Review - The Other Child - Lucy Atkins

I was given this by PB's mother, while I was stuck in hospital.
She has not read it.

Spoilers

The main character is meant to be 39, she's dumber than most 20 year olds.
It was obvious that Greg was not Greg from the start.

Also, not-Greg, if you don't want kids, wear a damn condom!

And Tess, if someone says they don't want kids, don't think it will all be great once they see the baby.
RESPECT PEOPLE'S REPRODUCTIVE CHOICES!

This should have never been anything but a short story.

Catagory: Drama
Rating: 0/5

The Body Shop - Crayon Kohl - Eye Definer - Black

This black eye liner really disappointed me! :C

As is, it barely transfers at all:

It works when you pass it over a flame:

But I shouldn't have to heat it up like a drug fiend.

Really disappointed in you, Body Shop! You are usually amazing.

Price: 3/5 ($16)
Scent: 2.5/5 (pencil smell)
Effectiveness: 0.5/5

Model Co - Shadow Stick - Eye Shadow - Purple Haze

A purple cream eye shadow stick in purple, but when put on it isn't as colour-intensive or purple as you would expect.

Just on the bare eyelid.

Ugh, don't bother with this one.

Price: 3/5 ($9.75 for 2g)
Scent: 2.5/5 (no real scent)
Effectiveness: 1/5


***** This product could be reviewed thanks to the raunchy, informative and gorgeous Miss Smut Buttons! *****

Sally Hansen - Miracle Cure - Strengthener

This base coat/ polish is meant to strengthen problem nails.

It dries super fast and is really shiny (love).

However, it chips so fast! like within the first day!
:( Why Sally, why?!

After a few weeks of using it, my nails do seem a little stronger, but not a phenomenal amount.

Price: 1/5 ($19.95 for 13.3mL)
Effectiveness: 1/5

Soap & Glory - Hand Food - Hydrating Hand Cream

The bottle asks if this is 'the most astonishing hand cream ever?",it is not.
It is decidedly lame.

It smells like flour and aloe vera, leaves a lot of residue on the hands, and isn't hydrating at all.

Pfft, don't bother.

Price: 4.5/5 ($8 for 125mL)
Scent: 1/5
Effectivness: 0/5

Sleek Makeup - Pout Paint - Peachy Keen

This is a light orange lip colour that claims to be highly pigmented.

This was patchy, poorly pigmented, streaky, too thin, and all round unacceptable.

I had to wipe it off and apply a different lipstick.

Does this sound like the actions of someone who had all the pigment they needed?

Price: 4/5 ($11.95 for 8mL)

Scent: 3/5 (faintly candy orange)

Effectiveness: 0/5

***** This product could be reviewed thanks to the raunchy, informative and gorgeous Miss Smut Buttons! *****

Sleek - Eye Dust - Spellbound

Initially I was quite worried by this, it looked too big to be eye powder.

But I wet my brush and tried anyway.

I was right to be worried. This is messy, unwieldy, applies unevenly, and doesn't look that great on.

Avoid this junk. 

Price: ($9.95 for 6.5g)
Scent: 2.5/5 (none)
Effectiveness: 0/5


***** This product could be reviewed thanks to the raunchy, informative and gorgeous Miss Smut Buttons! *****

Bianca J Professional - Eye Shadow and Blush

I don't normally wear eye shadow for everyday (or even just day) looks.
I have 'big eyes', a phenotype from my father's side of the family.
So while other people can pull of eye shadow during the day easily, I look so extra.

Also, google images doesn't recognize 'extra' as a descriptor of a person.

These are mix and match eye shadow and blush pallets.

Metallics:

All but the black are decent.

Blues: 

You expect them to be brighter!

Greens:

Some barely show up at all!

Reds/Purples: 

Again, very poor colour payoff.

Neutrals: 

Only the brown and the blush show up.

A common theme is the shimmer/metallic shades have decent colour payoff, but the mattes have virtually no colour payoff.

The blushes are also decent.

In the neutral pallet, I don't know what that goop in the first slot is for (brow wax?).

Overall, these are terrible eye shadows.

Do not buy.

Price: *** Unknown
Scent: 2.5/5 (none)
Effectiveness: 0/5

***** This product could be reviewed thanks to the raunchy, informative and gorgeous Miss Smut Buttons! *****

Jericho - Cuticle Oil

This is a cuticle oil with Dead Sea mineral.
As a cuticle oil, it works pretty well.

What lets it down is the packaging!
It came as a roller ball, which DOESN'T WORK!

I tried to MacGyver a brush onto the tube and... it went wrong.

Sorry dude.

Now I use it out of an emptied and cleaned nail polish bottle.

One way or another, I always find a solution!

There are better oils in better packaging!

Price: 1/5 (~$20 for 10mL)
Scent: 2.5/5 (no real scent)
Effectiveness: 1/5 (loses so many points for being unreachable in the roller container)

Rimmel - Kate Sculpting Palette - 002 Coral Glow 

The highlighter is not light enough, the bronzer is not dark enough, the blush is passable.

Let's play 'Spot the Swatches'!

What it gives you in convenience, you lose in quality.

Avoid!

Price: 3.5/5 ($16.95 for 18.5 g)
Scent: 2.5/5 (no real scent)
Effectiveness: 0/5

XXX Review - Empire Labs - Clone-A-Willy Kit

This kit is meant to allow you to make a vibrating clone of a penis! XD

I have a gentleman who is very proud of his penis and we thought this would be fun to try.

So you make a negative mould of the penis, then make a cast from the negative.

While I got the 'light toned' colour, the official website stocks many other colours, both natural and unreal!

Upon use, it is messy and a bit fiddly, but it is fun. 


However, there is NOT ENOUGH silicone in the kit!

Unless you are on the smaller side of average, you need more silicone than one kit provides!!! (SO ANNOYING!)

I've covered the dildo to protect the gentleman, but outlined how much of his size is missing.
He is longer than the amount of silicone allowed to be cast.

The mould is quite fragile and prone to breaking (it would have helped if the mould tube was wider, but that may be because the gentleman in question had considerable girth.

(basically, there is a reason why the gentleman in question is proud of his penis)

The end got a bit mushed, but that was the gentleman's doing as he kept squeezing the mould while he was in it.
The rest of the detailing is great!



We tried again with a Clone-a-Willy + Balls kit and an extra refill of silicone.
There was not enough moulding powder and the vibrator kept trying to float out..
Ugh!

All I want is a clone of this man's dick! Is that too much to ask!?


Price: 4/5 ($59.95, compared to many other dildos and vibrators, this is a really good price)
Effectiveness: 1/5

Clarins Paris - Fluide Super Hydratant Multi-Confort

The instructions say to apply it in the morning... you aren't the boss of me, bottle!

The thin fluid smells like vinegar and flour... WHY!?!

A basic face lotion with a weird stink!

Price: 3/5 ($44.12 for 50mL)
Scent: 2.5/5
Effectiveness: 1/5

Revlon - ColorStay - Ultimate Suede Lipstick - 095 Finale

I got this for free and I'm glad I didn't pay for it.

It is not very colour intense, you need to apply multiple coats to get good coverage.

Top: one pass.
Bottom: multiple passes. Note the uneven application.

Even then it isn't truly opaque, you cannot overdraw your lips with this!

It also tends to clump on any loose skin you have on you lips (if they are chapped) and fades off quicker from the mouth side of the lip than the skin side, leaving a not-sexy ombré.

However, it is true to its name. 
Not soap, nor food, nor hell or water will get this off!

This is my current go-to work lip, because it is a good colour for work and I don't want use a nicer lipstick! Hahahaha!

Price: 2/5 ($26.95 for 2.55g of disappointment)
Scent: 2.5 (nothing noticeable)
Effectiveness: 0.5/5

Best Sence Nail Polish VC Shinning - Lavender

I picked this up because it looked interesting.

It was meant to be lavender scented, but this is not the case.
It goes on streaky and thick and doesn't dry well.

It doesn't leave a shiny finish.

This is more of a warning post not to use this if you see it.

The Licki Brush

I was so excited for this, I backed the Kickstarter!

It was pitched as a brush you hold in your mouth, for grooming and bonding with your cat in a more cat-like fashion.

I actually licked Hades once when he was struggling to groom his back... he was horrified and wouldn't settle for the rest of the night, lest I lick him again.
Sorry baby.

It is a pink-red silicon, the shade meant to reflect a tongue.

Now for some more shade (as thrown by me).

The 'bristles' a big nodules that are more of a cat 'massager' than a brush.

They are hard and bulky and (with the reduced dexterity of using your face) bumps the poor kitty more than grooms.

Neither of our cats liked it.

If I wanted a shitty pet brush, I'd just buy one (for less money).
I wanted something that actually brushed, that was more like an actual cat tongue.

Something harder to make, harder to clean, but so much nicer for our feline friends!

Catagory: Pet Grooming
Rating: 0/5
Price: 1/5 ($34.47 AUD)

Rexona - Clinical Protection - Antiperspirant Deodorant - Sheer Powder

You know how I feel about these types of antiperspirants, you can get a very similar effect from just putting it on at night and letting it soak into your skin. 

That aside, I hate the packaging of this! The holes of the grate are far too large for efficient product distribution. Chunks of the bar came off and fell down the inside of the container, never to be utilized.

I also left it aside for a week, to use a different antiperspirant, and it grew bacteria! Why does it support bacterial growth?!

Also, why do I want to smell like bland powder? Answer: I don't.

Price: 1/5 (RRP $14.73 for 48g)
Scent: 1/5
Effectiveness: 1/5

Lux - White Impress

Not all beauty products come from boutique stores or pharmacies, some come from $2 stores.
That is the origin story of this bar of soap.

It is a 'whitening' soap which is not usually sold in the Australian market. It smells like soap and some fragrance I can't identify but know I don't like. Lily, it may be stinky lily.

I wanted to like this, it was a bargain at $6 for four bars, but it left me itchy. It did clean well, perhaps too well, as my skin felt stripped of moisture. But to be fair, I can't use most bar soaps, they are too harsh for my skin.

I tried to soften its blow by putting it in a sponge. The theory was only the lather could then reach my skin. In practice it took a lot of effort to produce lather and I threw it all in the bin.

Sometimes, you get what you pay for.

Price: 5/5
Scent: 0/5
Effectiveness: 1/5

Urban Colour - One Coat Nail Polish

I tried to find the name of this shade but couldn't, so lets call it a blue-grey-pnk ... asphyxiated pink!

I got this one night when I was inebriated on a train and a fellow inebriated gave me the bottle of polish after I complemented her nail colour.

I wasn't sure I liked the colour when sober, but it looked good on.

However, the brush sucked, the formula was too thick, and it smells like hexane.

It is a really cheap polish. Don't even bother buying this brand as a stocking stuffer, it is a waste of money!

Price: 5/5 ($10 for 12)
Scent: 0/5
Effectiveness: 1/5

Garnier - Dark Spot Corrector

I got this to help fade some spots on my arms and I really regret buying it.
The tube next to me is 95% full.

The formulation is useless, I saw no change in pigmentation and it doesn't soak in at all... It just pills off and makes a big mess.

What were they thinking?

Price: 3/5 ($7-17 for 50mL on ebay)
Scent: 1/5
Effectiveness: 0/5