Book Review - Ash - James Herbert

This is the third book in the 'Ash' trilogy and the last book Herbert wrote.

At first I found the references to the modern world (internet, no smoking indoors, mobile phones) a little funny.
It could have been set in the 80's/90's and I wouldn't of minded.
As I continued, it became annoying because the author took it as an opportunity to complain about the modern world.

All of his books are basically male power fantasies, but this one is too much. All the women have to say how handsome Ash is. A male doctor giving and unfounded speech on how qualified Ash is. The book even has to make a point of how Ash has a better torch than a park ranger he is with at one point. It's just petty.

Delphine, our love interest, is always frail and falling over. A sexy lamp disguised as a damsel in distress.

There is a gay couple in the book which Herbert uses to push his dusty agenda that they shouldn't call it marriage (I guess because he thinks marriage should only be for the straights).
Also, heaven forbid a woman may be bisexual (not that the term is ever used).

It didn't even deliver on the one thing Herbert books should provide, gore and horror. This was such a mild read!

I wish this book wasn't published, it adds nothing and only taints a previously good story line.

Mercifully, there will not be another book (Herbert passed in 2013).

Catagory: Supernatural/Horror
Rating: 0/5

Soap & Glory - Hand Food - Hydrating Hand Cream

The bottle asks if this is 'the most astonishing hand cream ever?",it is not.
It is decidedly lame.

It smells like flour and aloe vera, leaves a lot of residue on the hands, and isn't hydrating at all.

Pfft, don't bother.

Price: 4.5/5 ($8 for 125mL)
Scent: 1/5
Effectivness: 0/5

Book Review - Lady Chatterley's Lover - D. H. Lawrence

This was quite a controversial book at the time which it was originally released (1929), talking directly about the topic of sex.

However in modern times, it is incredibly dry and unenlightened.
There is no real passion, no emotional fall out from acts which would normally trigger it.

You can tell it was written by a man, the thought process of Lady Chatterley is mostly unbelievable.
I would almost suspect that Lawrence was a virgin (or a selfish lover).
The mechanics he describes for sex are mostly wrong. 
(He got to the idea of 'P in V', but then it all goes wrong)

Also can he stop saying "b**ch Goddess"... I haven't encountered such unnecessary swearing since the film "In Bruges" (don't bother watching that film).

He uses 'b**ch' more than Shane Dawson!

It gets a little better once Lady Chatterley finds her lover, but is is still not great.

I also resent that our female lead only really becomes interesting once she has a male to 'help her bloom'. Pfft!

Also, putting men in scarlet trousers won't fix everything!
That is just stupid!

This isn't worth the read really, it won't do any good.

Catagory: Erotica
Rating: 1/5

Ulta3 - Special Effects - Seeing Red

This nail polish is part of the 'water colour' effects range.
It is a transparent red.
I liked the idea, but the execution is lacking greatly.

One coat.

This shade would be better if it was more pigmented.

Price: 5/5 ($2 for 13mL)
New Name: Strawberry Jelly
Effectiveness: 0.5/5