Napoleon Perdis - Mesmer-eyes - Waterproof Black Mascara

What the heck is this?!

The formula is clumpy and too thick.

You have to be so gentle to avoid clumping.

The brush IS NOT A BRUSH, but rather a flat, sad little comb that does NOTHING!!!!

This stupid brush is flat! Flat like a comb!

Seriously, this is only going to work if your lashes are less than 4mm in length.

This is the mess I am left with :(

We almost had a uni-lash situation again D:

Price: 0.5/5 ($39.00 for 10mL)
Scent: 2.5/5 (no real scent)
Effectiveness: 0/5

***** This product could be reviewed thanks to the raunchy, informative and gorgeous Miss Smut Buttons! *****

Rimmel - I Love Lasting Finish Nail Polish - 080 Black Cab

This has to be, hands down, one of the worst nail polishes I have ever tried.

The formula has low colour intensity, even for dark colours.
It chips within the day of application.
The brush is hopeless and gives a streaky result.

I cannot emphasize this enough, DON'T BUY THIS GARBAGE!

Get the London look!

Just avoid Rimmel nail polish.

Price: 3/5 ($4.99)
Scent: 0/5 (don't sniff it)
Effectiveness: 0/5

Elizabeth Mott - It's So Big - Volumizing Mascara

The brush is the first thing I want to talk about with this. I get what they were going for, eye is convex = brush is convex. And that may even work, but my eyes are bigger than the brush, meaning it comes in at weird angles.

I don't need weird angles near my eyes... ever!

The formula is a bit too slow to dry and is quite messy, I don't love it.

The solution:

You knew that was coming :P

Price: 3/5 (rrp $19.99)

Scent: 1/5 (mmm, plastics)

Effectiveness: 3/5

Benefit - They're Real Mascara

This mascara is a favourite among beauty bloggers and I REALLY wanted to love this.... but WTF!!??!

Welcome to Clumpsville! Population: Rapidly approaching unity!

This mess of a 'formula' is so damn STICKY! It just stuck all my lashes together and then wouldn't let me comb them apart! 

(If the brush did anything, those tiny bristles only served to slather a layer of disappointment on my eyes)

I literally had to wash my left eye on the train this morning to re-do my spider eye! And as I washed it, I created THE UNILASH! 

No one should ever have a unilash from a mascara!

This goopy formula goes on way too thick and the minute you blink? Bam! You're a panda!

I will say it can look okay if you work at it and treat it really carefully, but I shouldn't have to work so hard for something to just be 'okay'.... this formula is just too unreliable!

This made me look younger, like a teenager... as in I didn't know how to put on mascara without ending up with just 6 big lashes on each eye!

This may be workable if you have very short lashes, but anyone else, save your money!

Also, it STANK and made my eyes sting... seriously?

Benefit, I am disappoint! Throwing this right in the trash.

The solution:

No one needs clumpy lashes...

Price: 4/5 (rrp $24.00)

Scent: 0/5 (chemical plant)

Effectiveness: 0/5