Book Review - Book of Secrets 

It starts with a very disappointing segment on 'The secret of attracting beautiful women'. 
The usual gimmicks of trying to be something you are not.
Let's just clear this up right now, if you want a lady just BE YOURSELF. You can't trick someone into loving or liking you (not long term).
If a lady likes you great, if not there isn't much you can do to change it.
Basically, women are humans, treat them with respect.

Other 'delights' are the location depended 'Abandoned Railway Stations' which have no importance in my life, incorrect advice for snake bite first aid, how to use language to trick women into finding you sexy (pro tip: it won't work), repetitive mentions of government surveillance, and the general assumption that everyone is American.

It also assumes that the reader MUST be male, unless you show your single spinster friend the section on how to get a husband (not even kidding).

One sentence I must share:

THERE ARE NOW ONLY 8 AMINO ACIDS NOW! 
Adjust your biology books accordingly!

I didn't know what to do with this book after reading it. I didn't want to give it away and risk someone else learning 'facts' from it.
But I didn't want to burn it.
I wanted to make something good from something bad.
Then it dawned on me, the perfect fix.

This bi*ch is going to become a piñata!

Maybe just watch this.

And above all else, never follow the dating/flirting/love advice in this book unless you emphatically want to be alone.
Category: General Knowledge
Rating: 0/5

Rimmel - Magnif'eyes - Glameyes Mono Eyeshadow - Q-Jump

I didn't get this to use as an eye shadow, I got it to use as a highlight.

Swatch!

There are very few highlights available in stores that will actually be light enough for me.
So white eye shadow is a better bet.

Check out that highlight!

This is a shimmery white shadow with really poor colour payoff.

I applied it with a kabuki brush (which is a big brush) and it worked great!

But never EVER use this as an eye shadow, it will be more disappointing than you can ever imagine.

Price: 4/5 ($10.95 for 3.5g)
New Name: Money Shot
Effectiveness: 0/5 (as an eyeshadow), 2/5 (as a highlight)

Lylaa - Nail Lacquer 

This isn't a nail polish, but rather is meant to go on your skin before you put nail polish on, to keep it in the lines.

And as far as that goes, it is terrible! 

It pulls up your freshly painted polish, creating a worse look than if you had just got a little polish on your skin.
The packaging is not conducive to creating neat lines.

If you used it as a polish, it would just scratch off so fast!

Just avoid this junk completely.

Price: 5/5 ($1 for 6mL)
Scent: 2/5 (no real scent)
Effectiveness: 0/5

8 x 4 - Pure - Perfume Deodorant

An item from the May Glossybox!

First thing, this is just a deodorant and not an antiperspirant.
So you will keep sweating (which I think is the most annoying thing).

It says that it contains no aluminium, but has a bunch of alcohols and hydrocarbons in it.
Don't let the green packaging fool you, this is not "all natural hippy stuff".

So lets pretend that his is just a perfume!

The scent is listed as calla flower, watermelon, and seaweed.
It's like a water-noted, faint watermelon scent which smells ok when you sniff the top of the container.
When you spray it, it goes everywhere, smells worse, and will bother your lungs.
Just use a nice perfume.

Really, this is an all-round waste of resources.

It is also named after a measurement of wood.

*I'll use the rest as an air freshener.
Price: 5/5($2.03 for 150mL)
Scent: 1/5
Effectiveness: 0/5 

Rimmel - Salon Pro - Chic Chick 377

This is a light pink-beige that is not opaque after two coats.
I could see using this for 'french nails', except it is really streaky.

Two coats and you can see the cross.

Avoid Rimmel for nail polishes.

Price: 3/5 (~$8 for 12mL)
New Name: Chicken Scratchings
Effectiveness: 1/5 

Brazilian Butterfly - BB Delicate Mitt

'Delicate' my butt!

This is like rubbing yourself with Velcro! 
Maybe it is my delicate skin, but this leaves me red, sore, and not happy.

It also feels like it is made of cheap plastic, doesn't lather up body wash, and is unwieldy in the shower.

Don't lie to me and tell me this is for delicate skin.

Don't bother trying this.

Price: 2/5 ($20.00)
Scent: 2.5/5 (no scent)
Effectiveness: 0/5

Rimmel - I Love Lasting Finish Nail Polish - 080 Black Cab

This has to be, hands down, one of the worst nail polishes I have ever tried.

The formula has low colour intensity, even for dark colours.
It chips within the day of application.
The brush is hopeless and gives a streaky result.

I cannot emphasize this enough, DON'T BUY THIS GARBAGE!

Get the London look!

Just avoid Rimmel nail polish.

Price: 3/5 ($4.99)
Scent: 0/5 (don't sniff it)
Effectiveness: 0/5

HI FI Healthy Inside - Daily Fibre Supplement - Orange

I got this thinking it would be like Metamucil... IT IS NOT!

OMG! This is revolting! It is made from orange rind and by George, it damn tastes like orange rind.

The container it suggests you can add it to smoothies... this will RUIN your smoothies!

I didn't want to throw this out (that's just wasteful), so I came up with a solution by which I can still use it, but can't taste it:

Thanks ebay!

Price: 3/5 ($14.29 for 200g)
Taste: 0/5 (SO REVOLTING!)
Effectiveness: 1/5 (I shouldn't have to make it into pills)