Sally Hansen - Complete Salon Manicure - Back to the Fuchsia 530

This isn't just a killer pink, it also has a fine blue duo-chrome shift! 
I love the hidden extra.

Two coats, can still just see the cross.

Price: 1/5 ($14.95 for 14.7mL)
New Name: Unstoppable Pink
Effectiveness: 3/5

Estée Lauder - Artist's Lip Pencil - 08 Spice Writer

This is light brown lip pencil that is a little hard, but you can work with it. The colour payoff is decent.

The name 'Spice Writer' is interesting.

This is the image that 'Spice Writer' conjures up for me.

It conjures up images of a Mills & Boon writer. 
Nothing too hot, just a little spice.

Passionate sneezing!

And I know they just slapped 'writer' after the name of the shade (spice), but it ends up meaning something completely different.

Isn't that just a demon?

Spice Writer! XD

Obligatory Fabio

Price: 1/5 (~$38)

Scent: 2.5/5 (pencil smell)

Effectiveness: 4/5

***** This product could be reviewed thanks to the raunchy, informative and gorgeous Miss Smut Buttons! *****

L'Oreal Paris - Color Riche Le Vernis - Nail Polish - Metallic Cuff 893

This is a blue-dark grey metallic polish with a strange grittiness to it.
I can't say I like it.

Two coats.

Price: 1/5 ($12.00 for 5mL)
New Name: Grease Rag
Effectiveness: 3/5

Bloom - Lip Plump Colour - Madame Frou Frou

What a stupid shade name!

Madame Frou Frou from a lame film which I will not name.

It is a slightly pink toned brown gloss with moderate colour intensity. 
It contains a ingredient which claims to restore collagen in your lips.

Over the L.A. Girl Natural lip liner.

It kind of smells like chocolate... I approve.

It is catch-your-hair sticky, but I think I can tolerate it.

Price: 3/5 ($12 for 6mL)
Scent: 5/5
Effectiveness: 3/5

***** This product could be reviewed thanks to the raunchy, informative and gorgeous Miss Smut Buttons! *****

Models Prefer - Nail Enamel - Make a Million

This is a nice subtle brushed gold, which is opaque in two coats.

Two coats.

Price: 5/5 ($1.10 for 7mL)
New Name: Cleopatra
Effectiveness: 5/5

Book Review - Lady Chatterley's Lover - D. H. Lawrence

This was quite a controversial book at the time which it was originally released (1929), talking directly about the topic of sex.

However in modern times, it is incredibly dry and unenlightened.
There is no real passion, no emotional fall out from acts which would normally trigger it.

You can tell it was written by a man, the thought process of Lady Chatterley is mostly unbelievable.
I would almost suspect that Lawrence was a virgin (or a selfish lover).
The mechanics he describes for sex are mostly wrong. 
(He got to the idea of 'P in V', but then it all goes wrong)

Also can he stop saying "b**ch Goddess"... I haven't encountered such unnecessary swearing since the film "In Bruges" (don't bother watching that film).

He uses 'b**ch' more than Shane Dawson!

It gets a little better once Lady Chatterley finds her lover, but is is still not great.

I also resent that our female lead only really becomes interesting once she has a male to 'help her bloom'. Pfft!

Also, putting men in scarlet trousers won't fix everything!
That is just stupid!

This isn't worth the read really, it won't do any good.

Catagory: Erotica
Rating: 1/5

Essie - Nail Lacquer - Fashion Playground

This isn't just a minty green shade, but it also has tiny, multicolored glitter in it... which makes it magical!

Two coats.
Remember, the texture is not from the polish, but the plastic.
Note: you can still see the cross.

It is subtle, but everything!

Price: 1/5 ($16.95 for 13.5mL)
New Name: Unicorn Sky
Effectiveness: 3/5